Back At Work

Going back to work has been one of the most excruciating things I have ever done. I tried to be brave when I dropped him off with the sitter but the moment she said she had tissues for me on my drive to work, I couldn't help myself and burst into tears. Handing over my most precious cargo was like tearing my very own heart out. Now when I was at work, the hours just flew by because of all the work that needed to be done and I also got to visit my baby during lunch. Also, co-workers stopped by one by one to speak about my favorite subject (baby K) and that led to even more time passing by fast. So by the end of the day, I thought I was going to be okay.



But when I woke up this morning and fed baby K and was getting the both of us ready, I had some time left to cuddle and play with him for a bit. He rewarded me with this big smile and that's when I lost it again! My biggest fear is that all the hours he will spend with his sitter, he won't know who I am. I know it's crazy, but that fear is there. Now when 5 comes around at the end of my work day, I make sure that I am out of the office and on my way to pick him up. As soon as we get home, we cuddle and I hardly let him go. Leaving work is completely different now. In the past, I would just contemplate dinner and wonder what good show would be on later at night. Now I can't wait to see my baby and just hold him in my arms because the next morning comes way too soon. The good thing about going back to work is that it makes every second with him even more precious. Gotta go..he is crying for mommy.