My little rock

No matter how many times I get stressed out or upset about things, every night I come home with my adorable son and everything just seems to fade away. I thought about writing this post the other night when it really hit home. He was just crawling around the floor while I was sitting there stewing over the awful day I had when he started making these funny faces. I couldn't help but to laugh out loud. And what do you know my problems just seemed to melt away....

I can't believe how lucky I am to have a happy baby. Don't get me wrong, he gets into quite a bit of trouble now. He's a mischievous little fella. He already gives me the look when he's about to do something he's not supposed to be doing just to see if mommy is watching. All in all he helps me to breathe and realize there are more important things in life than to worry about what others think of me. Truly he has been my rock and anchor. He is what grounds me onto this earth and to want to continue on knowing tomorrow is full of other possibilities.

There are times like this evening when being a single mom is hard. There just doesn't seem to be enough time in a day. I want to spend all of my evenings giving baby K my undivided attention and playing with him but at the time same time try to get things done before he goes to bed. I want to be selfish and keep him up as long as I can to savor more fun moments together since work comes again all too soon the next day, yet also I want to give him a strict routine so he feels the stability and security that baby's just seem to need. It's all such an emotional confusion. Which is the right way to do what? All I know is that I hate coming home and trying to do the things I need to do and only then spend about 30 minutes playing with baby K only to feel completely exhausted! However, it is mommy who is giving him his bath and feeding him his dinner so even though it may not be play time, he does have mommy all to himself. :)
Speaking to other mom's about this seem to help me also. They feel the same emotional guilt and they have partner's to help them so I guess it just comes with the role. Venting does help and they give the best advice to help ease some of the worries I have. No matter what, my little rock has brought so many gifts into my life that I just want to continue and appreciate the precious moment's we have everyday. He seems to be growing up way too fast! He is going to be 1 soon. Goodness!

I will soon post some new pics on here. He has teeth now! Like all proud mom's, I think he's simply adorable!!