Weekend Update

Why does the weekend always zoom by? I used to think getting up in the mornings were hard, now it's even harder when I'm trying to roll out of bed and also cope with the lack of sleep from having to get up in the middle of night like 20 times just to use the restroom. He literally is on top of my bladder!

I should have spent most of the weekend with my feet up since my ankles are pretty swollen, but that didn't seem to happen. I did get some rest on Sunday which was nice. Saturday, I went with Auntie H to a baby event because they promised a free gift bag full of goodies. What a rip off, instead the guy was trying to sell us on some stuff and gave us these coupon voucher things that we have to sign up online for. I haven't even tried it yet but when I looked at the invitation again, it still seemed very misleading. Oh well..live and learn. Maybe those vouchers will do some good. I still can't complain too much because I know there are many others out there who are really in need especially with the way our economy is lately. I had lunch with a friend today and he told me his company is taking away health insurance for their employees. I was in shock! And he's normally a pretty laid back guy but even this had him a bit worried. They hadn't announced it yet, so I can't say which company this is. My heart just goes out to the people who work for them. There are several who only make minimum wage and so this will truly impact them. Everywhere I turn I hear more and more stories like this. I just have to keep them all in my prayers.

Okay, back to my weekend, I get distracted so easily. I washed baby's clothing on Saturday with Dreft and saw how much he has. I only washed the ones that I know he will need right away. They are so tiny and adorable! As I was folding his socks and hats, I couldn't help but to think, "How long will he be in them before he gets too big?" Everyone says they outgrow their new born clothing fast. It just made me really happy to know that I will have 6 blissful weeks where I get to be with my son all day long. I'm completely looking forward to it because I know I won't get back that time ever again. As the days are getting shorter, I'm sure everyone is feeling like time is just flying by! Sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday, when I saw the word "pregnant" on the pregancy test I took at home. From breaking the news to my family to actually getting ready for his arrival I have witnessed all sorts of miracles around me and kindness from friends, family, and strangers. Now soon, I will get to hold him in my arms. :)

Another Day Closer

I can just smell fall in the air and I love it! Seeing the leaves change colors reminds me of why I love living in Indiana. It gets me so excited and anxious to bundle up my baby and take him on long walks around the neighborhood, hopefully soon.

Doubts creep into my thoughts every now and then and each time it does, someone says something to me that reminds me of how blessed I really am. It's like a nudge from a guardian angel reminding me I'm not totally alone and that I am looked after. As the days keep getting closer to his arrival, I'm going stir crazy! I can't keep still at work even though I should have my feet up to prevent more swelling. Instead, I'm running around like crazy, making to do lists, and working harder than ever. I just want to be able to wrap up as much as I can before I go on maternity leave. Even though I will still be doing some work from home, I really don't know how productive I'll be with an infant around.

After work today as soon as I got home, I did some fast cleaning before getting online. I always heard about nesting, but just thought, "Oh, I'm sure I'll do it a bit of cleaning but not go overboard on it." Wrong! There is some sort of panic that I have never experienced before where I feel like nothing is clean and all I want is for my baby to arrive in the cleanest environment possible. This feeling did not set in until now. I find that to be very strange because I thought if it did set in, it would happen right away. Okay, have run now and take some more things off of my list before it gets too late and I'm ready to crash in bed!

Worry Madness

There are so many things you worry about during pregnancy that it can get pretty overwhelming. As the due date gets closer, my list of things to do seems to be increasing. Cleaning does become more a top priority (nesting, they call it??) and making sure your home is truly ready for a new born baby to arrive. But after an exhausting day at work when you come home, all you want to do is put your swollen feet up. So everything on your list gets pushed aside to the weekend. Only....I don't have that many weekends left before his arrival. Yikes!

I just need to breathe and realize everything will get done and to also pace myself. As tired as I am, I still do so much running around. I feel like a walking zombie half the time because my mind is so spaced out from the lack of sleep. I'm sure most people can see the glazed expression on my face and I'm so sorry! It's just so hard to sleep at night. To not be able to roll over easily and trying to sleep in just one position... it's so hard! The nurse said I can try sleeping on a recliner and see if that helps. I might try that sometime this week. Hopefully it'll help. Sorry this post is not very interesting. My brain is shutting down. I will come up with something better by the end of the week. :)

How lucky are we little baby!!

Today my co-workers threw me a baby shower. No matter how many baby things I already have, I can't help but to enjoy getting more. I'm so incredibly lucky to work with such a great bunch of people. I oohhhed and ahhhhed my way through all of the gifts and they remembered how much I wanted an ocean theme for my baby boy. I tried to find a crib bed set to go with an ocean theme, but they are impossible to find! There are plenty of Winnie The Pooh ones though! I wish I could have taken a picture of the cake, it was blue like underwater and had dolphins on it. Oh well...it's okay I have a back up and also picked out jungle pieces for my other items.

Everyone also seemed to remember the little things I would say and their gifts reflected it. One co-worker got me a lullaby Beethoven cd. I remember telling her that I heard babies who listen to classical music are slightly more advanced, not sure if it's true, but it couldn't hurt. :) Another co-worker must have remembered me saying I wanted to dress my baby in a turkey costume on Thanksgiving because she got him a pumpkin one for Halloween and a turkey one for Thanksgiving. I know, I know...so embarrassing...but hey it'll be one of the few times when I will get to dress him in any way I please. Haha!

He also received more clothes and bath items. He will be one squeaky clean baby with his new bathing items as well as entertained with all of his duckies to play with during bath time. Lastly, he got this amazing swing where he will definitely be in, if mommy has to work on her laptop or do the dishes. These pics show some of the items he has already accumulated. I am definitely lucky and thankful to everyone! Lastly, sorry Auntie H for dragging you around on Saturday and having you lift things. But baby and I love you to pieces. Oh and one word of advice for other expecting mom's out there. I just got invited to an event where they will be giving away baby items worth a lot! Sign up for all baby events, sites, and items you know you will use. It's amazing how many free things you can get for your baby.











Mommy's little Prepster

Whirlwind

It has been a busy couple of days, but I'm not feeling as stressed out anymore which is a good thing. I can't believe how fast this month is already going. Pretty soon, I'll only have a month to go before the baby's due date. Thanks to everyone around me and my spur of the moment shopping, the baby has plenty of clothes right now.

They are so teeny and everyone keeps telling me how fast he will grow out of them, but I just want to enjoy the moments when he is still in them. I don't even want to think about how fast he'll be growing. For now, just daydreaming about rocking him to sleep and kissing his adorable milky mouth is pretty blissful itself. The little socks and hats are so adorable he has gotten are so cute!! I will have to post pictures soon of what my little baby already has.

The cramping still comes in a few times a day, but I am still good. Luckily my best friend went shopping with me yesterday and helped carry something that I would not have been able to. She is good to me. :) The baby will adore his auntie!

Tomorrow my co-workers are throwing my baby shower. I'm quite excited about it and will have to post details on here. What they say is true, "Sometimes it takes a whole community to raise a child." I just cannot believe the support I've had since the very beginning. It truly makes me so happy. This will be another busy week for me, so hopefully, I won't go so long again without writing on here. But also, by the time I get home, I'm exhausted. But things are cruising along nicely for now. Ciao!

The highs and lows

I always said I would be pretty honest with my blog. I have been on an emotional roller coaster since finding out I was expecting. I have never cried so much or so hard ever before. I cry from happiness, sadness, and worry. There have been plenty of late nights where I stay up thinking and feeling sorry for myself. Nobody told me it was going to be an easy path, and I didn't expect it to, but nothing could have prepared me for the deep sadness I have felt at times either. When I came back from grocery shopping on Saturday, it reminded me of how hard it is to do this alone. I had no one to help me carry all the bags in and afterwards, I felt some cramps. I definitely put my feet up for the rest of the weekend and also went to have my baby monitored on Monday. But my co-worker gave me a huge lecture that morning. She reminded me of all the people who love me in my life and how it was wrong for me not to ask for help from anybody. She said, "Don't you think everyone would be even more mad at you for not asking than if you did?"

I have just been so independent for so long that it's hard for me to lean on someone. However, for the safety of my baby....I will definitely be asking for more help from now on. Already, he is teaching me a few lessons. I need to let go and learn to trust more with everyone especially the people who I care about and the people who care about me.

Everyone at my work has been so supportive and protective of me during this time. I can't believe how fortunate I am to work with such great people. So even though, I have tough times and wallow in self pity every now and then, I try to remember how good I also have it. My girlfriends have been my rock, and my family loving too. So when I feel alone at times..I have to remember I never truly am. I have many around me and most importantly a little one who will make his arrival into the world very soon. Lastly, I want to mention one of the best highs that come from being pregnant...getting to feel your baby move inside of you. Each and everyday, he kicks or squirms around solidifies our bond even more. It never fails to take my breath away. I can just pass the hours away staring at my belly every time he moves. Luckily he does go to sleep or I would do nothing but sit and stare. And every night, I pat my tummy and remind him of how much mommy loves him. Singing and reading to my belly has now become a part of my routine because they say at this stage, they can hear now. At the end of the day, he is the last person in my mind. No matter who bothers me that day or who I need to call tomorrow, everyone else disappears when I close my eyes to go to sleep.... except for my baby.

Weekend Update

It's getting a bit harder to move around but overall everything is still good. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I told all of my friends that I refuse to waddle. I will try to be as stealth as possible. Boy was I wrong. Now towards the end of my pregnancy, I'm waddling more than ever. I feel like a penguin moving around. It looks so funny but I just can't help it. Also, since I'm not used to having this belly, I keep bumping into things with it. I have become so clumsy, I even knocked something over with my belly at Walmart yesterday. It was so embarrasing. Lol...I hope the people who saw me understood. I wonder if others have done that?

But on Friday, I saw this movie with my best friend and it was the best movie ever. It's called "The Women" and it really went into the friendship and lives of women. It reminded me of how important my friends are and how I always hope to nurture our friendships because without them, I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today. I also stayed out late on Friday night which it has been a long time since I've stayed out that late. It reminds me all of the changes my life has taken now. But it was good and I needed it. I don't know how many late nights of going out I will get to have again after baby's arrival. In some ways, I don't want things to change and I want it to go back to how my life used to be but in other ways, I'm ready for it and welcome it. But everyone tells me that once he arrives I won't have time to think about anything again because I will be too preoccupied with him. So that was good to hear too. I do like keeping busy!

Daily changes

There are so many quirks that you feel during pregnancy but every woman is different. Some things you will never know about until you it happens to you. The other day I could feel my little baby stretching himself in my belly. It doesn't really hurt but it definitely felt strange. My whole belly just expanded while he did it. Now when he flips over and kicks me really hard, I lose my breath for a moment because it's such a surprising sensation.

I am now at the stage where I am getting extremely anxious. My co-worker told me I would reach this point where it's impossible to sleep because you keep thinking about the baby's impending arrival. Sleep is also difficult when you have to get up and go to the bathroom every 2 hours and no matter what position you sleep in, you are never truly comfortable. I have pillows everywhere and it doesn't do anything. You are really supposed to be sleeping only on your left side but he seems to be laying right on top of my bladder in that position. And if I do try and sleep on my right side, my right hands gets numb. It is also literally getting harder and harder just to get out of bed. I have to roll off, if I wasn't so big, it's actually quite funny. Everyone did tell me about waking up in the middle of night with charlie horses. I get them in my calves, and there is no pain like it. The only thing that helps it is massaging it or stretching my legs. The things your body goes through in preparation for the baby is amazing.

I know I will remember these days for a long time. As he gets heavier, the more I'm ready for his arrival. Now I know why some women just can't wait to go into labor. Sorry to sound whiny, but carrying around an extra 30 pounds of weight and hearing everyone tell me I look like I'm ready to pop now has gotten me kind of cranky. The next time, some man asks if I'm having twins, I really just want to say back, "No, are you??!" All in all, I'm still trekking through each day and remembering the longer my little one stays in my tummy, the better it is for him. I will give him talking to tonight, I found out today, his head is already in position. We will have a serious discussion about the benefits of him staying in mommy's belly a bit longer . I know he may be anxious to see the world and all the family and wonderful aunts who's anxious to see him, but they are okay waiting. :) I have some other fears gnawing at me, but I will go into that another day. This is quite a journey for me and I'm so glad I have a lot of support around me. Lastly, I'm ready to eat seafood again and drink coke!

My Weekend

I didn't do too much this weekend. Did some errands and cooked a lot at home. Also, bought some more baby clothes. My new worry is making sure he has plenty of clothes during the winter months. I'm not very good at driving especially in the snow, so I want to be as prepared as possible. Of course, I would have to go to the stores anyways during that time, but I still want to make sure I have at least his clothes ready.

At the bookstore yesterday, I remember thinking from now on after his birth, he will go everywhere with me. I will have to make special arrangements if I have to go somewhere I prefer not to take him to. That kind of hit home for me. I mean, I knew this all along, but for some reason, the whole thing dawned on me just yesterday. My life will not only be making room for another person, but he will be by side.... all the time. I know I have relatives who can babysit, but for the most part, I won't want to leave him unless I absolutely have to. I wonder how long before I get used to that and adjust to it. I think everyone is scared of change in some way. This is a huge change for me. I have been so used to doing whatever I want and going anywhere I want without having to answer to anybody.

Even though I am scared, I also realize life is about transitions. Nothing ever stays the same. We all get a little aprehensive about the unknown. I will document everything that I feel after his birth. No matter what, I am very excited for his arrival. That is one thing I do know for sure. I wonder what others around the world is scared of at this moment. Scared of losing a job? A loved one? A breakup? I guess having a little fear makes us more aware of how precious things are. You just never know what kind of turn your life will take. All we can do is enjoy the here and now. A year ago last year, I never would have imagined I would be preparing for motherhood right now. I was just a single girl enjoying the dating life. It really goes to show so much can happen within the span of year.

One down...

Okay, I finally got the name and number of a pediatrician who comes highly recommended. I have others as an option but I have been waiting for this one. I heard he adores children and is incredibly doting, which is what I hear about most pediatricians but there was something about him that really made me want to contact him. So that's one thing I can cross off my list now.

Having a nice long list of options to choose from when considering where to take your child for medical care made me really think about something today. For a couple of month's Pampers united with UNICEF to run this campaign where if you buy specially marked diapers, one woman in developing country's gets a vaccination to protect her and her newborn against tetanus. They raised over $45 million and seeing news like that makes me really happy. I take it for granted sometimes that I can just go to my doctor's appointment and expect to be given exceptional care when in actuality there are many other's in our country, yet alone our state who can't expect the same kind of treatment. I was speaking to one of my fellow juror today and he told me that when his wife was first expecting the doctor told her that her due date was between
April and July. I was absolutely astounded! I questioned him about the ultrasound. During my first ultrasound, they told me down to the day how old my baby was inside of me. I remember it clearly the ultrasound tech saying, "You are 7 weeks and 2 days along." But all he could say was that because his wife was on Medicaid, she didn't exactly get the best kind of services. How awful is that? As a woman who is about to be a mother, I truly feel that every expecting person should get the same kind of treatment. Everyone deserves the same kind of attention.

Insurance is so incredibly high today hardly anyone can even afford it anymore. And we are supposedly one of the richest nation's? That is why there are so many among us without health coverage. Shouldn't that be a basic liberty for every citizen? I hope with this upcoming election, things will really be brought to the light and something will change. Hope is eternal and you definitely need it when you're ushering in a new generation. I'm very excited that my baby is going to be born around that time in November. It's a very good sign!

Every little second counts

This week has been pretty uneventful so far. I've had to spend my days couped up in a court room because of jury duty. It's pretty bad because I do not pay attention to what goes on whatsoever in that room. I make it pretty obvious that I just do not want to be there. I know it's my civic duty and all, but I don't particularly care for this case. I'm not allowed to talk about it, and believe me, I feel no need to. It's just an incredible hassle to get downtown to the court when you are 8 months pregnant. Also, please do not think that I'm an awful citizen, but at this stage in my life, I do not want to focus on the subject that this case is about. Although some good has come out of it.

Sitting there in the courtroom and my mind is like a thousand miles away, I have time to contemplate on a variety of things. I immediately go back into planning mode while I'm sitting there but also, I can just sit back and go off in dream land. I kept picturing holding my baby and being able to kiss and cuddle with him. Then I noticed something else strange today. I was staring at my belly and I could see different body parts poking out as he was stretching. It was amazing to see my belly rumbling or jumping when he decided to kick or roll over. I just sat there and watched in fascination. I rarely get a chance to do that because I'm either always working or doing some chore at home. So to be able to sit there for a few hours today and just stare at my tummy every time my baby did some kind of movement was really precious for me.

I know that soon he will be here and no longer in my tummy so I really do cherish every little second he is wiggling around in there. Also honestly, you can't help but to stare because it is the strangest thing seeing your belly do these waves because of a little life inside of there. When you've spent your whole life without your tummy moving, seeing little shakes here and there because the baby is doing a dance or something can really startle you. The movements were so strong, I thought for sure everyone sitting next to me could see it too. And that is how I spent my day. Productive huh? Lol!

Fall...

Have you heard the locusts lately? There are definite signs in the air that Fall is right around the corner. And I have to say that I couldn't be happier. Fall always takes me back to my childhood and running around with my cousin. Our grandma would rake up piles of leaves and we would run towards them and jump right in. The air would be filled with the smell of burning leaves. I love that smell...reminds me of the days leading up to cozy winters and drinking hot chocolate. Life seemed so much simpler then. It wasn't filled with heartbreak, disappointment, and bills.

Life was about going to school and looking forward to the next big Holiday. I think Fall tends to make a bunch of people feel nostalgic. It catapults us back to the times when we'd get our Halloween costumes ready and go out to get candy! What better treat could you ask for as a kid. One of my favorite items to get on Halloween were those balls of popcorn. They were so sweet and yummy. At school, we got to go on field trips to pumpkin patches and pick out our very own pumpkin. I loved digging out the seeds and making scary faces out of them. Another favorite was eating Carmel apples and having a cup of hot cider. I didn't know it then, but those memories would bring a smile to my face now as an adult.

I hope to fill my son's life with those kinds of memories and traditions. You don't realize it but those things tend to stay with you for a very long time. I can't wait to take him to pick out his first pumpkin or dress him in his first Halloween costume. I'm looking forward to making more memories with him and creating new traditions.