Ahh..Motherhood

I have never been happier then being in the place where I am today. When I look at my baby it feels like he is the greatest accomplishment I have ever achieved. Every day he changes and I'm so glad to have this time to be at home with him all day long. He makes the cutest little expressions when he's hungry and when he's full. And so far, keeping my fingers crossed, he hasn't been very fussy at all. He does wake up about every 3 hours to eat and boy does he love to! It's so surprising since he's such a tiny little guy, afterall he was born 3 weeks early.

It all started when I went in for my regular doctor's appointment. Everything looked good until the lab results came in. My doctor came back into the room and told me I definitely had Toxemia and it was getting worse and I was getting more sick everyday. He said he wanted to induce me that night but if I wanted to wait, they would just have to monitor me more closely and that I would definitely be in worse condition. The only way to help me was by taking the baby out. But all I could think about was the baby. He reassured me that the baby would be fine and after I asked him for his suggestion, he told me that he strongly advised inducing me that night. So after leaving his office, everything was a whirlwind. Luckily, I had just packed my hospital bag the night before. My best friend came right over to my house to pick me up and take me to the hospital. I made a dozen calls to everyone, including my mom who was frantic. She was the one who made me pack my hospital bag because she kept saying over and over she had a feeling the baby would come early.

I ended up staying in the hospital alone that night after telling everyone I would prefer it that way. It was to be the very last night that he was going to be in my tummy and I really wanted to treasure those moments. Everytime I could feel him wiggling around in there made more of an impression on me. I spoke to him a bit telling him I couldn't wait to see him and that even though it was hard at times, I truly enjoyed carrying him around. The contractions kept getting stronger and stronger as the night wore on. I was becoming more and more anxious. Around 1 in the morning, they gave me a sleeping pill to help me relax since they saw that I kept tossing and turning. The contractions were a bit painful but not as bad as I imagined. However, a nurse came in around 3 in the morning because she saw that I was wide awake again since the contractions were so strong and suggested that I have the epidural right then. It wasn't bad at all and it did help a lot.

So that went on for most of Saturday but I had my whole support system with me. My friends and family were all gathered around. The whole room was filled awaiting his arrival. The nurse even commented on how lucky the baby was to have so many people excited to see him.
When the actual labor started, I will have to say it is something I will remember for the rest of my life! It was the hardest thing I ever did! Literally afterward, if felt like my body had gone through a war zone. The epidural wore off sometime during the middle of it but at that point I didn't care if I could feel the contractions or not and told the nurse and doctor so. Feeling the pain actually helped me to keep going. I had my two best friends in the room with me and they were an enormous help. I won't go into the full details of it but they saw how much I suffered. However, the moment they put him on me and had me cut the cord, I never felt so much relief to see how good he looked that the tears just start flowing for me and my friends. And now we are home and at this very moment he is napping. :)

I will try and be better at updating this now that I have healed pretty well.