Goodbye Sleep

I never thought I would be so happy with 3 hours in a row of sleep. I always heard that you can kiss sleep goodbye forever once you become a mother and it's the truth. All of my close friends know how much I love to sleep in but now if I only get 5 hours of sleep a day, I'm pretty good. For awhile there, Baby K was waking up every 2 hours to eat. That meant I only got an hour of sleep here and there. Everyone has told me say to sleep when the baby sleeps during the day but I find that impossible! I was never a nap person and so I would be up by the afternoon after only catching about 3 hours of sleep. I also wouldn't go to bed until about 1 in the morning because so many things were racing through my mind at night time. You would think I would just pass out once my head hit the pillow! So all week long, I have been pretty sleep deprived. Luckily my mom saw it and has really been a big help. She has been with me and has gotten up in the middle of the night to change and feed baby K during the past 2 days and I have never felt better.

I could see what was happening to me with the lack of sleep. I felt irritable and completely out of sync. I felt like I was just walking around in a daze. Today, with much needed sleep I feel almost like my old self again. I was able to get some work done and spend quality time with my son, not just changing, feeding, and rocking him to sleep. While he was in my arms today, I read him a story which I thought he was enjoying until he fell asleep in the middle of it. Oh well...he will eventually learn to love reading time. :)

So to single mom's who have no help, my heart completely goes out to you. It really helps to have someone take over some of the feeding times. A friend, close relative, or anyone you trust who volunteers to help, I suggest taking it, you will notice a big difference. Women want to do it all and have a hard time accepting help from others, believe me...I can relate but for the sake of your baby and you, take whatever help that comes along. I wanted to do everything all by myself and was okay with it until I started to crash and burn. I have already realized in order for me to be a good mom, I must also take care of myself. Even a nice long shower goes a long way now. Those few precious moments where I can just be under the water really helps to restore me. Thank goodness for my family and friends. They have been a tremendous help to me and will continue to be so. I won't run out of babysitters anytime soon. Thank you! But getting away for a bit has also been good because for even a short period of time you feel that ache inside of you telling you how much you miss your precious little one. It's really strange...maybe because I'm so used to being with him all of the time now that it feels foreign to go somewhere without him. But you just feel that stretch of distance between you and your baby, it's indescribable, all I know is that when I'm away whether at a doctor's appointment or getting something to eat around the corner, I can't wait to come back home and hold my little angel again.